Gosh. It used to be Madonna but now it might be Britney Spears.
I am sitting at work where it’s very slow. So I’m typing a post because I really have nothing else to do. Problem is, I’m so exhausted that I don’t really have anything to say. So here’s a stream-of-consciousness post that I’ll type and hope that somehow, parts of it make sense.
What’s on my mind?
The 2012 GOP primary: I really don’t want Newt Gingrich to be the nominee.
The 2012 presidential election: I prefer Romney over Obama.
Unemployment numbers dropping: Unemployment numbers are dropping because people are working part-time and don’t qualify for unemployment or have stopped looking for work because they’ve maxed out unemployment benefits.
Holiday parties: I’m holiday partied out.
Lifehacker and the Gawker family: I still hate their layout.
Facebook Timeline: Why should I adopt it? They’re just going to change it in the next few months anyway.
Social skills: I wish I were more social. I mean, I need to take a class on how to hold a conversation with people I don’t know. Or rather a class on how to care about people you don’t know and probably will never meet again. Who’s with me on a class for that?
My hair: I have an afro. I love it and hate it.
My jobs: I work a lot.
Rest: I can haz it?
My birthday party: I fear it will be a disaster.
Editing my client’s book: I don’t trust myself to edit a single thing today.
I’ll probably add more as I think of it.
I do both. I have:
The problem with New Year’s resolutions is often that people think of them as fixed goals. People are more likely to succeed when they think of their goals as fluid, having the ability to change based on circumstances. For example, a person with a broken leg for the first half of the year probably isn’t going to be able to run a marathon in April. It’s not a failed goal; it just needs to be changed to later in the year. Then it can become a successful, attainable goal.
Specific: Answers who (you), what (the goal), why (are you doing this?), where (if applicable as in Philadelphia for a marathon), and which problems (current leg injury).
Measurable: Answers how (how much will you train? how many miles will you run? how will you know if you’ve met your time goal?)
Attainable: Is this goal doable? What specific practices do you need to implement in order to meet the goal?
Realistic: Can you realistically do this? Are there any/will there be any constraints that will keep you from meeting your goal?
Time-bound: Answers when (the goal must be met). Break down the when into smaller increments (eg, training every day but Sunday for the next 12 weeks). Again, evaluate whether this is realistic.
The following is the year-end evaluation of my goals revised in June:
Land an agent for my young adult novel.Build up clientele for book editing. I haven’t had a chance to tackle this yet due to financial and time constraints, but I do have a plan to implement this that will likely launch in 2012. And it won’t be just book editing. I also need to evaluate how I’m going to measure this goal, eg, “Obtain 2 clients for editing work by September.” Exercise for at least 15 minutes 4 times a week.Exercise for at least 20 minutes 2 times a week. Exercise is my biggest challenge. I haven’t been able to even keep to this schedule. A more realistic goal would simply be to go to the gym once a week and exercise for 15 minutes. Lose 25 lbs.Lose and keep off 10 lbs. I’ve actually gained 10 lbs rather than lost in the past year. I have joined Weight Watchers to rectify that.
- Eat more salads and vegetables. As a result of joining Weight Watchers, it has forced me to eat more salads, fruits, and vegetables. A better defined goal would have been, “Eat salads, fruits, and vegetables at least twice a day five times a week.”
- Complete the reading of 80 books. I have read less than 60 books this year because my life was so busy. Next year, 60 books is a more reasonable goal.
- Relax on the Sabbath (Sunday). This is still a difficult one for me as I don’t know how to simply settle down and relax. It’ll continue to be a goal for 2012, however, I need to make it more specific as to how I can evaluate how I’ve successfully met this goal. It’s currently too broad.
Attend CCEF’s October conference in Louisville.I attended four weddings in New York and Florida this year prior to the conference. I wasn’t expecting that when I set this goal. As a result, I was tapped out for spending money.
- Learn to be content with what I have and who I am. This is an ongoing process that God is still working on me. This goal needs to be more specific in how I can measure what it means for me to be content.
Spend more timeFocus on building discipline with God throughprayer and Bible reading. This also is an ongoing process. My husband and I have been good about prayer at night recently but I’ve failed at personal prayer and Bible reading. I need to make this goal a bit more measurable.
- Attend morning church services
at my home churchat least twice a month. This is a goal that I’ve managed to attain ever since I began attending another church—praise God!
- Write a post
(nearly) every dayonce a week on different aspects of enjoyingsomething that God is teaching/has taught me. I haven’t kept to this goal, mostly because I forgot about it or I just didn’t know what to write about. It was a good goal to reach for but in the end, my memory failed me. Cut down on sweets aka be less addicted to sugar.Designate specific days for dessert and stick to it. I’ve failed at this and miserably. However, this goal will disappear thanks to Weight Watchers.
- Read through three of the seven books in Chronicles of Narnia. Fail. I haven’t touched the Narnia books this year.
Hold scheduled write-ins at the library through the month of November for NaNoWriMo.Complete the rewrite of my novel before December 31. Fail. I hope to just begin working on the rewrite again before year’s end.
Resolutions, goals, target, etc. aren’t bad things to set at the beginning of the year, and they are not necessarily recipes for disaster or failure. It’s possible to create successful New Year’s resolutions, as long as they are:
- Seen regularly (post them up on a wall with regular visibility)
- Evaluated periodically (revise biannually or quarterly)
I have a funny feeling 2012 is going to be a more successful year in regard to my goals.
“I can’t trust God right now.” — a 7-year-old I know
How many times have I wanted to say this? How many times have I even thought it but was too afraid to speak it?
I am reading A Praying Life by Paul Miller in which he encourages his readers to pray like little children, blurting out whatever’s on their minds—unpolished and unvarnished. There’s no double-speak like the Pharisees. God would rather hear from me, “I can’t trust You right now” than “Lord, I am trusting You” when it’s really not true. Of course, it’s always good to follow up “I can’t trust You right now; help me to trust You” like the man prayed in Mark 9:24 “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!”
I am in a time in my life where things aren’t exactly how I planned them. I planned:
- To be married at 25
- Have kids at 30
- Have a thriving career in the newspaper/magazine industry
I got married at 23, almost 30 without kids, and ZERO career in the industry of choice.
The career thing often bothers me most, in some ways, more so than dealing with infertility. There should be a support group for people mourning the careers they never had or could’ve had.
My career is on the fringe as a proofreader for an ad agency and a manuscript editor. Yes, I get to do more than some people do, but at the same time, the income is unsteady. There are many fits and starts. I don’t know if and when the next job will come through. I work at the library to support these goals, but I know God is telling me to be patient, to trust Him in these uncertain times. To trust that He will provide the next job if and when he does so. It’s a scary thing to know that if your husband dies, you may not be able to support yourself.
I can’t trust God right now. But I hope He will give me grace and strength to trust in Him anyway.