In search of an identity… motherhood.
I’m a mother now. After nearly 5 years of waiting, a dream has come true. But I’m afraid. So many women become moms and their identity is swallowed up in their children. They forget they are individuals with likes and dislikes and revolve their worlds around their kids.
I don’t want that to be me. I want to continue being the Kass I was before I got pregnant without the incessant melancholy over infertility. However, I do want to pursue my own interests and take time to care for myself and feed my soul. I want to expand my interests and seek new horizons.
- I still want to be a part of the battle for others to overcome infertility.
- I want to champion awareness of mental illness: PPD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, ADHD, OCD, depression, anxiety, and many other mood disorders.
- I want to expand my horizons professionally and attend conferences that will challenge me, engage me, and help me grow.
- I want to expand my horizons personally by connection with supportive women online and offline.
- I want to support non-profit organizations wholeheartedly, e.g., Postpartum Progress, Food for the Hungry, International Justice Mission, and Amnesty International.
- I want to educate the wider Christian community about fertility options and treatments.
- I want to enjoy my work as a library assistant.
- I want to enjoy my work as a freelance editor.
- I want to be a loving, supportive wife.
- I want to be able to splurge (occasionally) on myself.
I don’t want my identity to revolve around my son (as cute as he is).
I know, I know, I’m a Christian so my identity should be based on Christ. Perhaps it’s better to say that I don’t want my personality to be swallowed up by motherhood. The following is a list of things I plan to do for me—to remind myself life isn’t just about my son:
- I plan on treating a friend (and myself) to a massage for relaxation.
- I plan on registering for the Warrior Mom conference that takes place in 2015.
- I plan on being in a wedding in August.
- I plan on attending another friend’s wedding in August
- I plan on going to an editorial conference in September.
- I plan on attending an editor’s conference in March 2015.
I hope to enjoy life more. I want to blog more. A lot of people would add travel to that list. Nope, not me; I’m a happy homebody. I’ll see the Eiffel Tower on the Internet and not deal with turbulence on an airplane over the ATLANTIC OCEAN, kthxbai.
I want to see Justin Timberlake in concert again but not by myself. Alas, some dreams aren’t meant to be realized.