Requisite Post and Other Assorted Thoughts
I haven’t posted on this blog in a long time, and it’s mainly because I haven’t had anything of consequence to say. I like to post when I have profound things to spout, and that hasn’t been the case in the past few weeks/months. Elections have come and gone (I knew Obama would win re-election), disasters have come and gone (Sandy hit NY and NJ hard), and places have come and gone (I’m no longer at the library where I first began my library job).
I’ve taken to writing nearly daily in a bound journal. I don’t know that it’s always cathartic, but it is very helpful to my ability to sort my feelings out about different matters. Take, for instance, God.
I received Anne Lamott’s Help, Thanks, Wow book from Barnes & Noble today. Yay! I read it in just over an hour. She refers to God as some sort of maternal deity but I like the paternal-ness of the Bible. That might be because I miss my own father.
What did I learn? There are three essential prayers: help, thanks, and wow. I’d agree with this, if for nothing else, in the texting age, it is much easier and more succinct to communicate those three words than to write out the entire Lord’s Prayer. I believe “wow” acknowledges the greatness and awesomeness of God while “thanks” expresses our gratitude. Then “help” is our supplication. We are asking—maybe even begging—for an answer to our request.
Perhaps I’ve written about this before—probably likely on a blog—but God answers all prayers with the following answers: Yes, No, Not Yet. Not Yes is where [my husband] and I are in our prayer for a child. No is God’s answer to me becoming a successful, let alone GOOD singer. Yes is God’s answer to me being able to freelance.
Not Yet is the most common answer from God, I believe, because He rarely answers prayer definitively right away. Our prayer for a child isn’t necessarily “no,” it’s “not yet.” For four years, God’s answer to [a friend] who sought a full-time position of employment was “not yet.” Clearly His answer was not “no” or [he] would not be gainly employed right now. But not yet can feel a lot like “no.” And in some ways, it is “no”—for the time being. God has said no to J and I for the time being about having a child. But it’s a synonym for not yet. This I believe.
I kinda went on a tangent about prayer and getting it answered, but I’ve probably said before, I’m not as orthodox about God as I used to be. … But is it OK to think that God is maternal? Like an Aunt Jemima, pancake-flippin’ black lady with an apron on as depicted in The Shack? I guess so. Why not right? Male and female he created them (Genesis 1:27). God’s got to have some maternal in him to create females, right? And all humans are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27).
I don’t think I got around to writing about what I wanted to write about yesterday: how I feel about God. I do believe Jesus is the only way to heaven but apart from that, all hell could break loose. I believe in love. Whether it’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve. I don’t believe Catholicism is a one-way ticket to hell. Female ministers are not the worse things in Christendom. And go ahead and baptize little babies if that’s your fancy. I’m a liberal. Oh noes! I believe in developing one’s spirituality. Jesus Christ and him glorified. But at what cost? I don’t believe in beating my coworkers over the head with proselytizing (like I used to).
I’ve come so far from my emergent church posts. Maybe I’m Rob Bell-ish now. Maybe Love Wins. Maybe I can refer to God as her. (Although I probably won’t.)
All I really know for certain is love is all there is. —Sheryl Crow