Home > Internet/Web, Personal > The Queen Bees of Social Media (It’s Only a Dream)

The Queen Bees of Social Media (It’s Only a Dream)

This post has probably been stewing inside of me for the past couple of years, and some women might find it offensive while other women won’t care while others might agree and others might disagree. I don’t care. This is how I feel.

I hate the fact that I am excluded from a social media group specifically because I am not a “mom.” Maybe I’m in a bad place right now, but it pisses me off. What about the women who are social media users and haven’t popped a baby out?

Today when I was asked if I was part of a local social media mommy blogger group, I said as politely as I could, “I don’t qualify.” Remembering the reaction from the third person’s face, I realize that answer was more blunt than I intended it to be. But it prevented the awkwardness of:

“Are you a part of the social mommy blogger group?”


“Why not? You should join. I’ve met so many friends. It’s fun!”

“I can’t get pregnant, for Christ’s sake.”

Yeah, I think “I don’t qualify” was way more tactful in comparison.

Image from dreamstime.com

If I could reimagine things, I’d create a social media group open to all women—mommy or not. All races. All socioeconomic backgrounds. The only restrictions are that the woman has to be a legal adult (at least 18 years old) and use social media. Having a Facebook page without statuses but keeps up with the Joneses (or the Kardashians) counts.

I’d call it the QBs (Queen Bees) of Social Media. These are women who are full-time moms and use Twitter, but these are also women who hold down full-time jobs and blog. (I got my most productive blogging done with a full-time job outside the home.) These are women who have part-time jobs and post on LinkedIn. These are women who have disabilities and go on Facebook. These are women who are childless and vlog on YouTube. These are women who are different yet bound by their use (and love) of social media.

I’d have a co-leader who drives the strategy and events behind the group. The events would be held on some mornings, some evenings, some weekdays, and some weekends. We discuss things that bring us together beyond social media. Who are you? What do you do for a living? What do you blog about? Why do you choose to blog about these topics?

We are an informal group that gets together, makes new friends, and creates a new network of readers. As QBs expand, so does our network.

I’m a great dreamer, a nice visionary.

This will never happen.

  1. November 7, 2011 at 8:31 PM

    Again, you hit the nail on the head. I actually grow tired of people’s Facebook postings being almost entirely about their children. I like to talk about a wide variety of other things…I post YouTube links to favorite videos and songs, along with funny pictures, witty sayings, and wry observations about my personal life and my work life (I work as a chain retail pharmacist, so naturally I have quite a bit of fodder). I need a sense of humor to deal with having a highly stressful career, being a fairly young widow, having my mother currently seriously ill, and not having my family life ever fall into place as I wanted and hoped it would. I hope the humor shows through in my social media postings. Perhaps it does…I do have one non-friend subscriber to my status, even though I’m not a public figure.

    (In fact, I rarely discuss longing to have a family on Facebook anymore. I had someone very publicly rip me a new one not long ago after I discussed the possibility of single-parent adoption or even using a sperm bank. I actually tried to find some of my usual humor in the sperm bank portion of the discussion, noting that the hypothetical father of my child would probably be young enough to himself be my son. This person saw no humor at all and proceeded to unload a 54-gallon drum of venom on me. Her assertion was that, no matter which way I went, if my child is not biological and conceived with a spouse, I would have a child with permanent emotional scars and that I was being selfish. She had an obvious bias because she gave up a child for adoption back in the late 60’s, and now leads a support group for adoptees trying to connect with their birth parents. With each of my replies, she became angrier while accusing ME of being angry and defensive, and in serious need of prayer so a bunch of lives wouldn’t be wrecked. She was also completely unmoved by my own story of growing up as the only child of a divorced single mom, with a father who completely avoided me. I ended up blocking her and vowing not to discuss the issue again in the same forum. It’s not her business how I build a family, if it ever comes to pass. That is strictly between God, me, and if I ever remarry, my husband.)

    • Kassi
      November 8, 2011 at 10:34 AM

      I’m sorry you’ve had to experience that, Martha. No one has been unkind to me, and I can’t imagine being knocked for wanting to rear children even as a single parent. That’s simply unkind and rude.

  2. silverneurotic
    November 8, 2011 at 10:16 AM

    I hate not fitting in with most of the social media circles…kind of frustrating when people talk about them and they sound so awesome until I realize that oh shoot, I don’t fit in to their cookie cutter requirements. But what can you do, other than blog, tweet and just do your own thing until maybe, just maybe you stumble onto something that actually fits you.

    • Kassi
      November 8, 2011 at 10:35 AM

      I wish I could create my own social circle, alas, I’m too afraid to fail.

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