Home > Christianity, Thoughts > Something to consider: thoughts from the non-mommy blogger

Something to consider: thoughts from the non-mommy blogger

I was looking into attending a Christian conference for bloggers and maybe meeting with other Christian blogger-types in the hopes of making real-life connections. When I stumbled upon the conference site, I got the sense that the conference was geared toward married women with children although it was not something that was explicitly stated. After a bit of researching, I very much indeed realized that every woman at that conference had a husband and at least one child and most had dubbed themselves “mommy bloggers.”

Then I thought about the Christian women who aren’t mommy bloggers and how left out they must feel. It’d be kind of rude to have a Christian conference for wives who are childless bloggers or a Christian conference solely for single women. The thought of such an exclusionary meeting is even kind of depressing.

I know several single Christian women and I can only imagine the pain they must endure as ignorant women (like me) babble on about how great their husbands are or how wonderful and sweet their children can be. I also wonder if these same women who desire children get particularly annoyed at parents who complain frequently about their children.

But I digress.

God has called us to live in community and not divisiveness which makes me wonder if there is a place for all Christian women to come together—a conference where women in all walks of life can share their faith and fellowship with one another. I understand it’s harder for single Christian women to take time off for a conference but that doesn’t mean the option to do so should be closed off to them. And a childless wife shouldn’t feel shut out of conferences simply because she is not a mother (for whatever reason).

Gary Thomas, author of the book Devotions for a Sacred Marriage (derived from the wildly successful book Sacred Marriage), had a chapter titled, “Thoughtlessly Cruel” about performing actions that weren’t intended to be hurtful but were anyway. It made me wonder if, in our quest to find people who are just like us and in our stage of life, we are thoughtlessly cruel by shutting them out. Many of us don’t intend to be rude, divisive, or cliquish… it just naturally happens that way. So we end up with groups like “mommy bloggers” then… everybody else. (I’m a semi-regular blogger without a blogger title.)

Please don’t get me wrong: I am not knocking mommy bloggers (although I’ll admit to not being fond of the term). Mommy bloggers have become such a powerful force within recent years that advertisers and merchants are taking advantage of this group by hosting giveways on their blogs. Mommy bloggers are quite the influential group and I have a few mommy blogger friends myself.

But what about the childless bloggers? The unmarried bloggers (who may or may not be childless)? Perhaps there’s a group I’m even forgetting. Don’t these people matter?

Beyond Christian conferences, however, my challenge is really directed to believers who are part of a local church. How often do we overlook the people who are single but have a strong desire for marriage and children? How often do we ignore the pain of couples who desire a child so greatly but have not been able to conceive or adopt? And how have we shut out couples who have prayerfully chosen to remain childless in a religious culture that makes it an imperative to have children?

Just something to consider.


(Side note: In the future, I hope to be a blogger who happens to be a mom rather than a mommy blogger. I worry that the identity of becoming a mother will take me over and swallow me whole leaving me with nothing but just a shell of who I used to be. But that is a post for another day.)

  1. Emily
    March 26, 2010 at 7:31 AM

    “I worry that the identity of becoming a mother will take me over and swallow me whole leaving me with nothing but just a shell of who I used to be.”

    I pictured a pirahna plant eating a koopa troopa then spitting out it’s shell. I think I play New Super Mario Bros Wii WAY too much. 😛

    I love how my church offers so much, that people can get involve in a variety of things, no matter if your single, married, children/no children. It helps mingle people differently. There are ABFs on Suday that are specific–college, young couples, old geezers (that’s not what they call that class :P), etc. But then there are several that have a mix of people. My friend and her husband, who are newly married, decided to go the mixed route for ABF, instead of the Young Couples class. And they love it.

    Wow, I’m babbling. Anyway, I ❤ you and can't wait to see you in a month. 😀

    • Emily
      March 26, 2010 at 9:00 AM

      Our dear friend Coral pointed out my your/you’re error. I deeply apologize for that. It is inexcusable.

      (I thought of making an apology full of grammatical errors, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that.)

    • Kass
      March 26, 2010 at 2:21 PM

      What is an ABF?

      • Emily
        March 27, 2010 at 3:49 PM

        Adult Bible Fellowship, AKA Sunday School.

  2. March 26, 2010 at 2:19 PM

    Why. Didn’t. I. Read. This. Before?

    Wow. Thanks so much for this post and I can’t believe you wrote it precisely for today?!

    Check my site. I guess today has been the day to deal with being childless for me.

    Thanks for making a stand and for saying things others should consider. I’ve also been looking around for other non-mommy bloggers and it’s hard to find them, so I’m SO glad I found this.

    “In the future, I hope to be a blogger who happens to be a mom rather than a mommy blogger.” <— exactly!!

    Many blessings,
    Journeywriter 🙂

    • Kass
      March 26, 2010 at 2:56 PM

      God certainly works in mysterious ways. I enjoy your blog as well and appreciated reading your writing. My thoughts and prayers are with you. ~ Kass

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