I have always wondered: Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? I think I would have rather never loved at all.
Well, outside of the discussion regarding how become who we are based on how we handle pain and loss, not merely happiness and love, I think the problem with the question is that you can never truly know which is “better.” No person can experience both, so no person can know.
I have allowed loss to close me back into some walls of fear: fear that if I allow myself to love, I will only feel pain. But isn’t that the trade-off of life? And if I live controlled by the fear of loss, am I living in the freedom that God desires for me?
I suppose that, as best I can see, even though I desire to avoid loss, it is better to experience love (even if there is loss) not for what you receive as much as for the person it helps mold you into, than to not experience love or loss at all. Reading Shadowlands and A Grief Observed and A Severe Mercy influenced my feelings on this, because otherwise, I’d probably choose the “never loved” option.
Once upon a time I loved and lost. Given the givens I would probably do it again. All growth involves some amount of pain and I grew A LOT through that situation.
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